This WebPage does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends or my dogs and cats; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; you may distribute my URL and all its associated sub URLs freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the Web Pages in commercial publications without written permission; humor is subject to change without notice; humor has been slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this offer is void where prohibited, taxed or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; no shoes, no shirt, no humor; quantities are limited while supplies last; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit humor; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; fruit hat and maracas sold separately; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; objects may be larger than they appear in the mirror; no preservatives added; safety goggles may be required during your visit; sealed with spit for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; hard hat area ahead; for external use only; lather, rinse, repeat; if a rash, redness, irritation or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool, dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; reading this Web Page may be hazardous to your wealth; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; material used in this Web Page is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of this Web Page; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavor added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting... if symptoms persist consult a humorologist; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, el nino, flood, and other Acts of the Rubber Gods, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, typos, misspelled words, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in this Web Page, and incidents owing to motor vehicle accidents, airplane crash, ship sinking, leaky roof, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, broken glass, flying projectiles, pregnant or dimpled chads or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Side effects from reading this website may include uncontrollable laughter, wheezing, abdominal cramping, bloating, gas and of course, leakage. Serious inquiries only please. So if you're a Nigerian prince who wants to wire me money because you're too busy feeding the amputated refugees you've come across during your church mission, sorry. I'll pass.
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Code to Add VLVS! Button is on VLVS! Blog.
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